Unmasking Our True Selves with Dr. Carolyn Colleen
In this Dr. Carolyn Colleen Interview on the cpodcast—hosted by Terrell James—author and PhD candidate Dr. Carolyn Colleen sits down to explore the metaphor of “wearing masks” in our daily lives. From early childhood trauma to redefining love and self-worth,
Dr. Carolyn’s journey is a masterclass in resilience and transformation. Below, we dive into the episode’s key moments and takeaways, and explain why this conversation matters for anyone seeking to peel back their own protective layers.
The Power of Masks: Roles, Protectors, and Barriers
Dr. Carolyn opens with a metaphor that resonates immediately: each of us wears masks—some chosen, others forced upon us—as we navigate work, family, faith, and community. These masks can serve as protectors, helping us survive difficult moments; but left unchecked, they can become barriers that block us from genuine connection.
Everyday Roles
Parent, sibling, spouse, professional, friend: Each role comes with its own expectations.
Masks help us fulfill those roles even when we feel uncertain or hurt beneath the surface.
Protective vs. Limiting
A protective mask might be putting on a confident persona before a big presentation.
A limiting mask might be hiding vulnerability so deeply that we can’t form authentic relationships.
By reframing “mask-wearing” as a spectrum—ranging from adaptive to obstructive—Dr. Carolyn invites us to identify which masks are serving us and which are holding us back.
Childhood Trauma: How Early Experiences Shape Our Masks
Dr. Carolyn reflects on moments of childhood trauma—moments that taught her to adopt hypervigilance and emotional suppression as survival tools. The instinct to protect herself with a stoic “mask” became second nature, yet years later it still influenced how she approached intimacy and trust.
Trauma’s Long Shadow
Even a single traumatic incident can prompt us to build defensive walls.
Over time, these walls can calcify into identity markers, telling us “This is who I am” rather than “This is what I went through.”
Reclaiming Identity
Recognizing the difference between “I am my trauma” and “I survived my trauma” is the first step toward dismantling unhelpful masks.
Dr. Carolyn’s approach to healing combines therapy, self-reflection, and community support to start chipping away at those defenses.
By sharing her own story, Dr. Carolyn encourages listeners to trace their masks back to the original wounds and ask: “Is this still necessary? Or is it time to let go?”
Redefining Love: From Conditional to Unconditional
In a powerful segment, Dr. Carolyn challenges the common belief that “love means sacrifice.” She argues that true love—whether toward ourselves or others—is unconditional, not self-destructive.
Conditional Love vs. Unconditional Love
Conditional Love: “I’ll love you if you meet my expectations.”
Unconditional Love: “I choose to love you, regardless of flaws or circumstances.”
Self-Love as a Foundation
Before offering genuine love to others, we must learn to love ourselves—masks and all.
Self-love doesn’t mean ignoring our flaws; it means accepting them as part of our unique humanity.
By shifting our internal dialogue from “I have to earn love” to “I am worthy of love just as I am,” we can begin to dismantle the masks that prevent us from giving and receiving authentic affection.
Navigating Feedback and Self-Acceptance
Terrell and Dr. Carolyn discuss a challenge we’ve all faced: how to process negative feedback without letting it erode our sense of self-worth. Dr. Carolyn offers practical strategies for maintaining self-acceptance amid criticism:
Pause and Breathe
Instead of reacting immediately, take a moment to acknowledge the emotional sting.
A brief pause can prevent us from slipping into defensive or self-critical masks.
Separate Opinion from Truth
Not all feedback is created equal. Some criticisms reveal areas for growth, while others stem from someone else’s projection.
Ask: “Is there a kernel of truth here? Or is this simply someone else’s bias?”
Center Yourself in Self-Compassion
Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a close friend.
Self-compassion helps us hold space for our imperfections without hiding behind a mask of “perfection.”
By practicing these steps, we begin to build resilience—learning to stand in our truth even when others attempt to define us. You can gain access to this resource FREE. Download Your F.I.E.R.C.E. Reset Card Now
From Corporate Leadership to Entrepreneurial Passion
Dr. Carolyn recounts her transition out of corporate leadership and into a life fueled by passion projects. She describes the pivotal moment when she realized her protective masks—polished executive persona, constant productivity—were no longer serving her personal growth.
Letting Go of External Validation
In corporate roles, success is often measured by external metrics: promotions, bonuses, titles.
Shifting to entrepreneurship meant redefining success on her own terms: impact, authenticity, and lived purpose.
Aligning Values with Actions
With a mask removed, Dr. Carolyn was able to focus on her true passions: writing, community advocacy, and education.
This shift requires intentional choices—guiding decisions by “Does this align with who I want to be?” rather than “Does this look good on my resume?”
Her story reminds us that shedding masks can be uncomfortable, but it’s essential for aligning our work with our deepest values.
Choosing Uplifting Relationships & Finding Acceptance
Dr. Carolyn and Terrell explore how we can curate our inner circle to support our journey—rather than reinforcing outdated masks. Key insights include:
Recognizing Toxic Patterns
Some relationships encourage us to keep hiding behind our masks (e.g., “you’re too sensitive,” “just grin and bear it”).
Others uplift us, encouraging vulnerability and growth.
Setting Boundaries with Compassion
Boundaries are not walls—they’re guardrails that help us maintain integrity.
Saying “no” to relationships that require us to stay hidden creates space for connections that celebrate our true selves.
By choosing relationships that honor authenticity, we gain permission to lower our defenses and experience deeper trust.
Fierce Foundation: Empowering Generational Self-Sufficiency
Toward the end of the episode, Dr. Carolyn unveils her nonprofit initiative, Fierce Foundation—designed to empower underrepresented communities with the tools for generational self-sufficiency. Highlights include:
Mission & Vision
Provide holistic support (education, mentorship, resources) to help families break cycles of poverty and trauma.
Foster community-driven solutions that eliminate dependency and create lasting change.
Key Programs
Skill-building workshops (financial literacy, leadership development, trauma-informed coaching)
Youth mentorship initiatives that cultivate resilience, self-confidence, and a growth mindset
Partnerships with local businesses to create internship and employment pathways
How to Support
Volunteer opportunities for mentors, coaches, and workshop facilitators
Donation channels to underwrite scholarships and community programs
Collaboration inquiries for corporate sponsors and aligned nonprofits
Learn More at: https://fierce-foundation.com/
By combining personal healing with community empowerment, the Fierce Foundation aims to replace masks of fear with badges of resilience.
Why You Can’t Miss This Conversation
Dr. Carolyn Colleen’s story is a testament to the transformative power of vulnerability. Whether you’re struggling with past wounds, questioning your self-worth, or seeking to make a positive impact in your community, this episode offers:
Practical Strategies for dismantling self-protective masks and embracing authenticity.
Inspiring Stories of turning corporate accomplishments into purpose-driven work.
Actionable Steps for redefining love, setting healthy boundaries, and fostering self-compassion.
Community Impact through the Fierce Foundation’s mission to cultivate generational self-sufficiency.
Tune In & Take Action
Ready to unmask your fullest potential? Stream the episode below or find it on your favorite platform.
